That Many Splendored Thing

Is Romance Dead?

A few months ago I watched that moldy oldie Daddy Long Legs. Fortyish, eccentric millionaire meets 18 year old Leslie Caron in a French orphanage. Right away you can see how smitten he is with this most formidable, young lady who demonstrates a great deal of warmth, joy and level headedness.

Being the bold, philanthropist he is, Fred decides to send this girl to an American college--all expenses paid of course. His advisors, contemporaries warn him of the possible appearance of impropriety. So he swears that his support, the relationship will be conducted at a safe distance...anonymously. The essential, proposed plot is that these two people will fall in love with each other and they do.

Personally, in the reality of it all, I would find it very hard to start a relationship with someone so far away in years. Most of the 20 year olds I meet I find to be horribly distracting. They lack a certain maturity in life experiences. Of course, in the world's eyes, (popular opinion and popular media) it may not be a very objectionable sort of thing. "The heart wants what the heart wants." is the celebrated (half baked) justification but in the light of cold hard facts really doesn't stand up.

Fore Armed Is Fore Warned

There have been way too many times when I've found myself "having feelings" for someone. And yet, after many a tear filled night, I've found such relationships don't last and neither are they very satisfying in the long run. And, as for the ones that have worked, I have found it's all because of a lot more than feelings.

A Romantic From Way Back

On the other hand, I do believe that some May-December (even if he is the May and she the December) relationships can work. In relation to Daddy Long Legs, it was more than obvious that these two people enjoyed being with each other. Enjoying somebody's company can be the cornerstone of any association. Love has to be based on a mutual respect as well as a genuine fondness.

Love Will Keep Us Together

In this age of "Computer Dating", I have seen too many women's profiles where they've got they're partners described down to a "T". They may four feet eleven but their spouses should be at least 6 feet tall. If the ladies are 47 they want men who are ten years younger or their own age. To me, this is not love. There's nothing wrong with seeking a certain number of criteria in a mate. And yet, of course, we may find someone who meets all of our standards but that doesn't mean the marriage is going to work.

When it comes to choosing a marriage partner it is more important that we truly love who we are. We have to know what gives us joy. If you are someone who enjoys good, stimulating conversation, this is a part of you. If this five-foot two, eyes of blue, significant other's statements are, generally, monosyllabic you'll find yourself bored to tears.